Reply to Got with and married to dh young, now struggling with missing out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got married young as well, OP.

I think something important is to accept your SO's shortcomings and move on.  If he didn't have a good sense of humor when you got married, it's not fair to expect that of him now.  He is a person, with his own needs, thoughts, and feelings.  He doesn't exist purely for your fulfillment.  There is no perfect person out there.[/quote]

Op here--he actually used to be a lot more social and had a great sense of humor. Kids were rough for us and he lost a lot of that. He doesn't like most people and complains if I make plans for us with others or even on my own... He has a temper that flares easily.[/quote]

Again, you made a vow to this person, in sickness and in health.  No, it's not nice that he has changed for the worse.  But be honest with yourself, have you become a better person over the years?  He's YOUR humorless introvert, so you have to at least accept it for the time being.  We all change over the course of our marriages.  I don't love everything about DH (he is short-tempered, leaves me with all the decision-making, refuses to read anything ever), but he is my rock.  I know that I can be lazy and grumpy and tired and he will still love me.  That is the point of marriage.[/quote]

This.  My husband can be a braggart, is lazy in bed and has horrible parents.  I didn't fully realize this until after we married.  But am I going to leave him?  No.  I made a promise.  I also fully realize I'm far from perfect myself.

If you were interested in a relationship where you can trade up you shouldn't have married.  You should have just lived together and not had kids. [/quote]

Sure, this is easy enough to say in perfect land. But sometimes the young 20s brain doesn't make the best decisions. And there is one life.[/quote]

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