Reply to Could use some helpl/advice on how to advise my 27 year old son.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am literally going through the exact same thing with my 9-year old daughter.  I have NO idea how to make friends! She was like, "Mom. I have a question? (She was so serious that I thought she was going to ask about something embarrassing.)  How do you make friends?"  I don't know because I don't have any friends (and am not social).

Sport is a great idea, but sports, activities, etc at her age means that I have to do all the work of finding them, signing her up, driving to them and I work and am exhausted.  At least your son can do it by himself!  Isn't there a trick to all those people who have thousands of friends at school WITHOUT doing all these activites.[/quote]

Yes, there is a secret, but it is a secret to us who don't have that personality type.  It is not a secret, but just life to my DD who is extrovert, has dozens and dozens of best friends, and so many other friends. Who, at 15 ,is a social butterfly of the highest order.  Who is getting the whole high school stadium to chant cheers for the team. But, it is a secret to me and the thing is, I do have a couple of really good friends, and that is all I need or can manage. I am happy with my way, she is happy with her way.  But, if you are unhappy with not being social....that is when problems happen.[/quote]

I can talk to people easily but don't like most people and don't want more friends.  She is painfully shy but wants more friends.  So she is unhappy not being social, which is why problems are happening, as you said.  I am clueless about what to suggest, since talking to people comes easily to me and also because I have no desire to talk to anyone.  I think most kids in her position have social parents that invite over people a lot, but I don't.  Suggestions?[/quote]

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