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[quote=Anonymous]They disengage emotionally. They are not emotionally vulnerable anymore. A lot of times, they also pick fights over nothing. Very low tolerance for arguments.

Lots of business trips.

Not being where they say they will be.

Turning off their phone when they should be reachable.

Spending more money or credit card charges to restaurants/ hotels or even gifts. (This one isn't always there-- especially if the affair is established-- but, if it is, it's a paper trail that a spouse can often access. Usually, it's harder to find the texting/ email trail.)

Interest is something completely new (maybe something the AP is into) like a new kind of music or they will suddenly take up some new sport or can't stop talking about cooking/ flying/ crossfit.

But I agree with the poster above: sometimes, there are no signs. If the spouse is carrying on quick, one-night stands on business trips, it may be hard to find out unless they come home with an STD. True, they might be unreachable by phone but that could be a million things. A very long-term affair is also hard to catch because they might just meet at someone's house and the affair time is built into the the person's usually calendar. Plus, a couple in a very long-term affair may not actually meet that often-- maybe they're old friends and meet a couple of times a year when the spouses go away on business trips or whatever. 
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