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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yup, no room for doubt, unfortunately.  there were pictures of her with my grandparents captioned with their (unique and ethnic) names in the scan of one of the newspaper pages! My grandparents were of the generation who looked and dressed exactly the same from age 30 until their deaths. I can't imagine what poor news conglomerate intern got stuck scanning backissues of this tiny newspaper, but they were thorough.

The things the poster said about NPD moms making stuff up and telling you what you think is very accurate. "Oddly cruel" is also accurate- for a few weeks while my dad was traveling and I was in late elementary school my mom told me I was adopted, even though I am not. She kept the tale going for days and had me convinced it was true. when she let my dad in on the "joke" I think he forced her to drop it.

More flippant but illustrative: I remember loving certain things as a kid but suppressing them or choosing the exact opposite of what I preferred because my mom would say I liked x, or was a so-and-so kind of person. Choosing my adult wardrobe when I finally had a paycheck was so confusing and I spent a few years changing my style completely every 6 months. I still feel like I'm trying on identities and figuring out what's me versus what she's said is me. Whew. [/quote]

I have a good friend whose mom is a narc and friend is never comfortable ever saying what she wants. She will contort herself not to say where she wants to eat or what she would prefer to do as an activity. She has to manipulate to get people to ever guess what she wants. Her mother would, one way or another,  punish her for being clear about her preferences. If there was a gift she wanted for Christmas  and she openly discussed what she wanted, she would never get it. Her mother taught her that she only got to want the things her mother wanted for her. It is very frustrating dealing with her to this day. [/quote]

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