Reply to My spouse is away on a trip, and I'm surprised at how relieved I am

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sometimes it takes pain relief for us to understand how much pain we are accustomed to living with. Give this some thought. You know it's not normal or healthy to feel you must scuttle around cleaning up and handling the kids and everything (especially if you both work at jobs), or that you must walk on eggshells to manage his moods or his dysfunctional ways of dumping on you.

Things need to change.

In my case, we still sigh and giggle with relief when he's out of the house because he's rather intense and needy. Lots of therapy and hard work on his part helped him change his attitudes (ingrained since childhood) that it's fine to make everyone a servant to your moods and issues. Meds helped with the darkest depression and irritability.

You don't have to live this way, but you both need to realize there's something wrong and be willing to work on changing it. If it meets his needs, and is the easiest course, he has no motivation to change. So you have to tell him it doesn't work for you.[/quote]

How did you get him to go to therapy? My DH has the same issue with everyone being a servant to his moods and issues.[/quote]

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