Reply to Men: What was your reaction when your wife said she wanted to SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous]Hey there - I am a SAHM, undergrad/grad degree from a top tier school (like top 5), and wanted to stay at home since I met my husband in my 20's. Back then, we were barely making enough to do this. But, he knew that was a preference on my part. I worked while my husband was in grad school, and then part time with our first. I started SAHM when my 2nd was born.

This is how I felt about the decision (and don't presume it's the way everyone feels about it):

Life is long. I can work when they are a bit older (I'm in a career that will allow that). My mom stayed at home and I loved it, and I felt like it was truly wonderful to come home to a house with a parent in it.

I have some pangs of regret when I go to alumni conferences and everyone is doing something amazing AND raising children. But I get over it. I am involved on a non-profit Board and volunteer for my alma mater. I think the thing is you have a persona tied to your career/intelligence (like I did), and it's hard to lose that, and more significantly, it's hard to have your DH lose that opinion of you.

But, if you keep up - read books, go to conferences that interest you, volunteer when you can (you certainly can afford a sitter here and there), then you'll keep up both your individual identity and be a mom to your baby.

I agree with others that you might want to wait to see how life is with a baby. You may WANT to leave him depending on his personality and your post-partum time. And, I don't think it's necessary to prep him before you decide, because all of us change after we have babies.

Good luck![/quote]

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