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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From what I have seen:  couples who affair pre-kids and the marriage ends - sometimes the APs make it work for the long haul.

Couples with kids who break up the family for their AP.  It never lasts.  OK, I am sure there are exception, but I haven't seen one yet.[/quote]

[url=http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html?_r=0]This is your "exception"[/url], although I think there are many more.  Sometimes you get married to one person, and then your soulmate comes along. The heart wants what the heart wants. The couple here did things right. They built a friendship founded in their devotion to their kids, and then it turned into something more. They couldn't deny their feelings any longer, so they confessed their love to each other. Each announced to his/her respective spouse that they'd be leaving for the other person. THEN they consummated their relationship. Not one moment before.

[/quote]

I have never thought it that big of a deal, or saving grace, whatever, that the married folks waited to consummate things.  If my spouse were in love with another, were flirting, and plotting to leave me for another, there is zero part of me that would respect them for waiting to bump genitals until the ink was dry on the divorce decree.  In fact, I would kind of respect my spouse more if they got caught up in lust, were having crazy sex with their AP while married to me, then broke it off.  It seems far less cold and calculating if someone fucks first then realizes its too late to put the pieces back together.[/quote]

THIS. Plus one million.[/quote]

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