Reply to DH and I both lost parents recently - feeling like we are in a "grief contest"

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Reply to "DH and I both lost parents recently - feeling like we are in a "grief contest""

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[quote=Anonymous]I think what you really have here OP is two very sad events and a time when you and your DH and your FIL would have expected/received/gotten support and understanding is being clouded by ALL of you going through big losses. At all other times I would suspect you would have gotten the understanding and support you all need but all of you have needs now and little space to help the other. An expected loss and a sudden loss are two different events but for those who suffer the loss - the loss is huge and gradations aren't possible. I agree too with the PP who said that not only is 6 months - especially with an unexpected loss - not very long and around the time that the reality is setting in but no one gets to set a time limit on the length of grief - that is just not fair. You were very kind to change rooms and do everything else that you did but don't let your FIL or DH's inability to focus on your grief get in the way of your own loss: I would guess it is distracting you on some level from your own deep loss. Your loss is deep and again - no one else has a right to tell you how deep and earth shattering your loss was ( so sorry) nor can one loss be judged as more tragic. Be easy on yourself, forgive the lackings of the rest.[/quote]

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