Reply to DH and I both lost parents recently - feeling like we are in a "grief contest"

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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry for your loss OP.  I'm someone who grieves quietly and privately and because I seem put together on the outside people seem to assume I don't need any support but that's not true.  The way you're talking about your father's passing in such a rational way, you sound like me, but I bet you're still in a lot of pain.  I find that grieving is a time when people are at their least self-aware and it can really be infuriating.  It's shocking when people who expect others to bend over backwards for them (and me, put together person, I'm always doing the bending) and they do nothing to reciprocate when you're in need.  At this point I just take it as a truism and try not to hold a grudge for the way people behave when they're grieving.  Hopefully you can do the same.  I do think you can say something to your DH though without making a big deal.  Just somethig like look, I know the circumstances are really different and I don't want to compare our losses, but I am still sad and I could use a little extra support right now.  Your family really deserves a vacation.[/quote]

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