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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Drinking to avoid my husband"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my dad - I adored him - was an alcoholic. Drank to blunt how unhappy he was with our lives. He had good reasons...my mom was a hoarder and depressed, we had little money, they didn't get along, and he wa so ashamed of our home that he went from being a social butterfly to basically having no friends at all. He drank to tolerate the intolerable. And it was pretty intolerable for us, too. I developed so many escaping coping mechanisms, mostly food. I learned to blunt my pain. I developed lots of strength to survive the shame and loneliness. The wrong kind of strong. He didn't teach me to change the intolerable. He taught me to blur my feelings, block them out, and stay stuck in misery. Do you want that to be what your kids learn from you? You can take the pain. Take the loneliness. Feel how frustrated and angry you are. FEEL it and you will change it. Stop tolerating the intolerable.[/quote]
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