Reply to If you are gay, how often can you tell someone else is gay within the first minute of meeting them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's easy to recognize those who exhibit traits of "gayness."

But I'm also constantly surprised at finding out who actually is gay. There seems to be quite a few "normal" people that are homosexuals (before anyone gets upset at my terminology I'm trying to keep the language as simple and brief as possible).

My question for those who claim to have an excellent gaydar, how can you tell if another person is gay after a few minutes? What are the clues? I'm not talking about flamboyant or butch behavior but people who dress, talk, walk "normally." What "gives them away" in your eyes? 
 [/quote]

I have an older colleague (70s) who is gay, but I didn't realize for a long time. Gradually, after I'd been working with him for a couple years, I realized that he had never mentioned a wife or kids and lived with a male "roommate" (I still don't know if the roommate is really roommate or is a partner). It was the roommate thing that made me wonder. But he never exhibited any trace of behavior that I am used to thinking of as gay in younger men -- speech patterns, clothes, whatever. A couple years later he casually mentioned that he had attended some gay lunch group meeting at work -- a meeting at which I knew all the other attendees were openly gay. So for me that pretty much confirmed he is gay. But we've never discussed it; it doesn't matter to me. We've occasionally talked about political things like gay marriage, for which he is in favor, but he has never in my hearing expressed any personal experience that would inform his opinion. I am a straight woman, mid-30s, if that matters.[/quote]

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