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[quote=Anonymous]I think I'd lay it out something like this -- "DH, you clearly are dealing with some serious anxiety issues, and you need help with this. I have been enabling you for a long time by taking more and more of the housework and childcare on myself so that it doesn't trigger your anxiety, but it's clear from your panic attack last night that it's not helping you get better. I will support you in getting whatever kind of help you need, but I cannot enable you anymore because it's not healthy for either of us, or for the kids." If he doesn't get help, the only other way to stop enabling him is to leave, but I wouldn't drop that on him right away. If the initial comment or discussion doesn't get any response from him, then I would tell him that you have to leave if he refuses to get help. If he still won't get help, you leave. I fully believe in supporting a spouse who is suffering with mental illness, but if he's refusing to get help and dragging the rest of the family down with him, you have an obligation to look after your children too. He's not the only one who matters.[/quote]

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