Reply to Need sdvice for this situation with my mom and sister

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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I am so sorry you are going through this.  I have a similar situation in my family and the only way I could get the majority of my family to be "there" for my parents was to step back.  By stepping back I mean I was there "manager" if you will, paying the bills, doctors appts., activities, care of their pets, etc.  It was exhausting to do on my own especially with my own home, family and job to take care of, but I did it out of love and the duty of a daughter.  For some reason my siblings, especially sisters, who lived much closer to my parents could never help out or stop in to see if everything was okay.  In the end, for my mental health, I sent that email to, along with a new power of attorney and checking account and turned over everything to one of my sisters.  I was always upset and offended that they weren't there as much as I and my husband had to be, and were, and this email provided an outlet to get somethings off my chest that I had been keeping in for over seven years.  End result, little contact with my siblings (sad) but Mom and Dad now see all of them all the time because they are actively involved in my parents care.  Do I regret the email, not for one moment, was I being manipulative, not at all.  You sent that email out of frustration and there was nothing wrong with that.  If your sister has a problem with being around your mother she should be grown up enough to share that with you, we know she is not shy given your description of her.  Let her continue to stew in her unhappy little world and you foster your relationship with your parents for the sake of your children.  You want them to see a loving relationship with you and your aging parents and don't talk about your sister ever in front of your children or parents.  Change the subject if it comes up with your parents.  This is your sister's burden to bear, not yours.  [/quote]

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