Reply to 15 year old cousin ran away to my place amidst family drama... what NOW???

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[quote=Anonymous]OP again. We had dinner, we talked about what's going on, and now she's falling asleep watching Netflix after a long day.

Apparently, my cousin thinks she is gay and had written some entries in her journal about that and a little about a crush she has on a classmate (another girl). Cousin says that her mother found the journal, read it, and absolutely flipped out. She says there was a huge argument with lots of yelling, and that her mom called her some very rude things (she gave specifics, but I don't think anyone wants to read those words), said "some freak d*** is no daughter of mine" and told her she would embarrass the family if anyone found out. Followed, as my cousin reports, by telling her that when her father got back from business travel (Saturday) he would "make her forget this nonsense if she knows what's good for her".

She says she was scared that her dad might actually hit her, and her mom was acting just really nuts and it was all too much so she panicked and came here because, apparently, I feel safe. I suppose I'm glad I can be that person for her, but goodness, why me? Our other aunt lives closer and has kids of her own... I have no idea what I'm doing or how to navigate this situation. She would definitely have gone to my mom if not for the fact that she's out of the country on a business trip. What timing.

Based on everything I know of the situation -- cousin's actions, cousin's story, and the things my aunt said on the phone, plus aunt's general behavior pattern -- I totally believe the journal and mom flipping out part. Not so sure if she's right about what her dad might do because I don't know him well at all. When she was younger I know her parents had this awful wooden spoon they spanked her with, which I know because they brought it along once when they were staying at our house for a few days. Anyway, apparently the last time either of her parents used any physical punishment was sometime around 6th grade; she says neither of them hit her now or anything. Which, honestly, I believe, because if she wanted me to figure out how to get her out of her parents' house actual physical abuse going on would be a legitimate reason so I think she would have told me.

But we've still got her being screamed at and insulted by her mother, and afraid of her father. Not a great situation. With my cousin's permission, I just called our other aunt and told her what's up, so she is going to try to call my cousin's mother and see if she can figure out what is going on from her perspective. At least now I'll have another adult relative helping with the situation and hopefully able to figure out what we should do. Because I am in way over my head here.

I told my cousin I love her so much and I promise I'll be here for her and help her in such a confusing situation. Aunt Not-her-mother and I will try to sort things out with her mom, but no matter what we will do everything we can to make sure she is safe. She cried in my arms for the better part of an hour. This is exhausting and confusing and difficult (yes I know it's much worse for her, sorry for complaining but the vent felt good) and I am FURIOUS at her mother if even a fraction of this turns out to be completely accurate. Who the heck talks to their kid that way???

Now I just have to figure out how I am going to do the 'making sure she's safe' bit that I promised her I would. It's what she needed to hear, and now it's what needs to happen.

I'm waiting for Aunt Oldest Sister to call me back after talking to Aunt Cousin's Mom (sorry this is so confusing!) and then once we have more information and someone else's perspective on the situation we are going to make a plan for where to go from here.

I canceled date night tomorrow and called my boss to take the day off work for a family emergency. Somehow I suspect we are going to be getting on a train (I don't drive due to vision impairments), whether that's to return cousin to her mother or to get her back in the jurisdiction of CPS in her home city if God forbid we decide that reporting to the authorities might be necessary. If not and she can just stay here while things cool down I'm not really sure what we're going to do but I don't feel right leaving her alone to go to work so I suppose I'll just try to make a long weekend vacation out of it for us.

God, what a mess.[/quote]

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