Reply to How do I get my husband to take on more responsibility (older kids)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You'll get a lot of why did you put up w this - but we need to deal w your reality which is a lot of our realities

I had to carve off very clear and distinct tasks and slowly increase them - one of them was cooking dinner twice a week when he's working from home - took me actually typing out instructions but once he had those he did it and it's helped immeasurably.  I also gave him all house maintenance stuff and we outsource the rest like laundry cleaning yard. 
 
The refrain j get is "what you are always saying I don't do enough" ugh - hugs to you[/quote]

sadly the same situation here.

First DH did nothing, bare minimum, half-assed what he did do. 
Second, he did purely mechanical stuff (take garbage out, put kid to bed, etc.) and usually had to be told when to do so.  Eventually he knew what to do when, he had a lot of recurring calendar invites!  He still wouldn't see or do basic stuff - walked around in a fog thinking about his iPhone and office work. 
Third, he got in charge of managing more plus his mechanical stuff.  This is when my headache of managing the house, property, repairs, vehicles, kids, sports, vacations, health, taxes, etc. (in addition to my 50 hour a week job) went away. DH is now less clueless on how a family household actually works.

But man, he was sure clueless 7 years ago. Part of this was his timid mother did everything for his father and kids when he grew up. no role model. [/quote]

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