Reply to No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - surprise party edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is being ridiculous of course and you may not get a thank you. Do what you can though to make it a nice party celebrating the person you love and expect no appreciation. That's not why you're doing it, is it? 
This is a lesson though, learned too late for you to benefit from it now, but maybe it will help someone--do not throw a surprise party for a control freak who worries about appearances or [b]someone who has anxiety[/b]. It is probably her worst nightmare. 
[/quote]+1  I would go ahead and just try to enjoy yourself while remembering that she is a person who suffers from terrible anxiety and doesn't manage it well.  If you can, enjoy it, hope she enjoys it but if she's determined to suffer, let her do so.  Remember, it's not personal.  It's the crazy in her head that drives her to be this way.

But based on your description of your mom, I'd have to say that this wasn't a good idea and - sorry to be perverse about this but it makes me wonder if the surprise part wasn't in part an effort to make yourself feel good about this wonderful thing you're doing for your mom - who may not enjoy it at all.  But, that said, I'm an anxious person who grew up with an anxious mom so I can relate.  At this point you've got to go ahead with the party and not let her anxiety drive you crazy.  And I can just imagine how it's driving you crazy.  So sorry you have to go through this, OP, after you're trying to do this nice thing.  Hang in there.[/quote]

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