Reply to No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - surprise party edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm so frustrated and really need to vent.

My father and I have been planning a surprise 70th birthday party for my Mom. We have booked the place, the invitations have been sent, RSVPs are in and we are now working on selecting the food. We have close to 40 people attending.

Mom found out about the party [b](a friend slipped and told her) [/b]and ever since she has been driving us crazy. She hates the restaurant we chose (though she's never been there) and has repeatedly asked to switch the party to this completely pretentious, expensive restaurant she knows about (I'm told we don't have the budget to have this big of a party at that place), she's been grilling us about the guest list, she's been grilling us about if we have a private room, what the room will be set up like, she's been complaining that she doesn't like the food options and doesn't want a limited menu (wants everyone to be able to order from the restaurant's full menu).

It's to the point now where I'm pissed and feel like she's acting totally outrageously and is unappreciative of our work to put together a really fun party for her.

I called her out on it yesterday and asked her what the problem was which led to a big fight. She is now mad at ME and saying that we aren't taking her preferences into account. That we are going to embarrass her with a bad party (She's very much a "keeping up with the Joneses" type who's always worried about what people will think - it's supremely irritating). I told her that it was meant to be a surprise party and we can't change all the details of the party after the invitations are out and all the RSVPs are in. Incredibly, I had to explain to her why restaurants prefer to do a limited menu for a large group like this.

Ultimately, I am now the bad guy who had ruined this party for her. I told her that I was done working on it. My Dad will have to figure it out (though I know he's mad and doesn't want to work on it anymore now too).

I'm dealing with someone with extreme anxiety, issues with keeping up certain appearances and while I know that what we have put together will be a really nice and fun evening to celebrate her, there has been absolutely no appreciation of all the work that's been done and acknowledgement of what we were trying to do for her.

At this point I don't even want to go to the party - we have to travel to get there. I will, and I'll stick a smile on my face and I'll be happy to see the friends and other family members that will be there, but I'm so sad that I have a Mom like this who can never let anything be enjoyable.[/quote]

May she suffer the pain of 1000 paper cuts. I hate when people do that![/quote]

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