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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]This is terrible advice. Stop suggesting things that'll create even more of a rift between OP and her DH. His dad is dying. Neither OP nor any of us can decide how her DH should feel and what he should or shouldn't do for his father. Ultimately, he has to live with himself every single day after his father is gone, and only he can decide what is appropriate for him to do so that he can live with himself. OP, honestly, as hard as it is, just give your DH his space. This isn't easy for him, especially given the nature of his relationship with his dad. Hire a baby sitter, join a nanny share, or get whatever part-time help you need to make this situation better for you and the kids but DO NOT demand that your DH do anything unless you want a resentful spouse after all this is over.[/quote]

I'm 17:42.  Have you been through this?  Everyone here is so quick to say 'get a babysitter', 'outsource....'.  It's not that easy when you are given no notice and you really have limited funds.  When I was going through it with my ILs, we didn't have money for a babysitter.  We had no cable, we never ate out and couldn't afford to outsource anything.  A neighbor felt so bad for me that she sent her MS kids over to play with the kids while I did housework - the kids got community service hours for doing it.

This isn't about a dying father.  This is about behavior in a spouse that is damaging their relationship.  You warn OP that her DH will be resentful after all this over?  What about OP's resentment?  It took me a long time and a lot of counseling to work past mine.[/quote]

PP here. Yes, I have been through this. And yes, I was not in a good place financially when it was happening, so I worked with friends, family, and my employer to make it work. Also, yes, this IS about the DH's dying father. You can't say that it isn't. [/quote]

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