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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is almost ten- for our family, the issues have changed. Tantrums are rare, but verbal disrespect and and opposition are becoming problematic. Homework is a big deal- there is more of it, and it requires concentration and diligence. 
Social issues can be problematic starting about 2nd grade when kids become more judgmental- at least for DS. Now, in fourth, he struggles with friendships. 
As DS gets older, I am turning more toward Ross Greene's collaborative parenting style. I have less control now and that will continue to be the trend.

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pp here- I want to add that ADHD can be a roller coaster- there are some times when my DS is so mature that my worries seem unfounded- there are other times when I wonder how we're going to get through the school year, and can't bear to think about high school or college. 
It helps a lot to be in the present- I know that sounds trite but I am a better parent when I can focus on the issue in front of me rather than letting worries about the future take hold. This is especially true when kids get older and the expectations are more complex-- and it happens very fast. I find that when I am anxious about the future, I have a hard time empathizing with what my child needs in that moment. I admit to outsourcing math to a tutor- we butt heads over math and I have to admit, I get very emotional over an entire page of missed problems and a frustrated child who refuses to correct his work. A tutor has saved us because DS won't throw a fit with a tutor. Don't be afraid to say "this is a job for a teacher, coach, tutor, etc." when your child is reacting negatively to your input. 
None of this is intended to be lecturing- the path for us is one step forward and 3/4 of a step back- overall progress though the years with some dramatic regression at different developmental stages. I expect we're in for rough teen years. 
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This is a very helpful post, thanks.  A million times more helpful than chess mom.[/quote]

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