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[quote=Anonymous]I'd be torn OP--I'd not want to judge my friend too harshly, but what is happening with her children is appalling.  I have a friend, a child of an alcoholic, who divorced her first husband (for good cause) and married a wonderful man.  But her son from that marriage, who rarely saw his bio Dad (father didn't make himself available) developed what I considered a pretty minor drug problem--caught with marijuana in early high school.

She came down like a sledge hammer after being imbued with a tough love philosophy.  She shipped him off to a wilderness camp, which involved a stranger taking him from his bed in the dead of night and whisking him off. He never quite recovered from this and one thing led to another and he ended up addicted to heroin.  More tough love, kicking him out of the house on to the street, etc. and finally death by suicide.  She still thinks she did everything possible right.  Your friend may also think the same thing.

I really disagree with the steps she took and before anyone jumps on me I had my own child addicted to heroin but handled it completely differently and DC is now a fully sober and contributing member of society (have not disclosed to anyone I know). I will say that before the addiction I had all sorts of problems with my child and got lots and lots of advice from friends and families about going down the tough love approach, including giving the child up to foster care.  Tough love is rarely successful, but many still think it is what works (as evidenced by much advice on DCUM).[/quote]

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