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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Spouse threatens divorce "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I grew up in a household where if you F'd up, you just said "Oops, I didn't do xyz right, I'll fix it now, won't happen again!" And then we made sure it did not happen again. Same thing in my household now, if someone (kid or husband) is upset, we listen, validate their feelings and then work on a solution. Solutions only happen if you admit there was a mistake. No one is perfect, and to deny and avoid admitting a mishap is infantile and the wrong life skill to be living or teaching. Worse, is to keep on making the same mistake. That quickly becomes a demonstration of disrespect and rudeness. Try not to have bad habits, and if once you move away from home and your various roommates call you out on something (*gasp* there is a better way of doing something than Mommy showed me!), improve yourself![/quote] It is not until we leave our family home and live with others that we realize how F'd up our childhood really was. That is F'd up lady. You should go to individual counseling and find a way to let it go. My kids spill a drink, they clean it up. No, "Oh I am sorry, let me admit my wrong doing and promise to never let it happen again". Guess what, it will happen again, BFD! No one is perfect and to make each and every mistake an issue that must be discussed, validated and promised to NEVER happen again, is borderline OCD. "[i]Worse, is to keep on making the same mistake[/i]"... really? You have never burnt the bread in the toaster twice, or over cooked the chicken twice. HOLY FING GOD! Your household sounds like living hell. I lived with a crazy roommate like you once. When I moved out I lived with a normal person. I left my clothes in the washerr, she dried and folded them. (my old roommate would throw them in a basket and tell me if I had to wash twice enough times I would learn my lesson.) Guess what, next time I did laundry, if my roommate's clothes were in the washer... I ... wait for it... dried and folded them. BANG! Mind Blown![/quote] I think you both are defining mistake differently. It's not about burning toast or doing each other's laundry. It's about someone counting on you and you can't be counted on, consistently. Missed family obligations, didn't fix the XYZ, don't respond to vacation conversations, forget the garbage or put dirty clothes in hamper. If you upset a reasonable person you should set things right, not ignore them. Separately, that's awesome you changed roommates until you found one that would pick up after you and do your laundry together![/quote]
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