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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Did you divorce due to spouse's travel?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Another option OP is to simply remember that rarely is a career a lifetime career. This is the work he does, that he apparently loves, and even though it is tough, if you love him, leaving him 100% makes it a zero sum game for you. It is lonely being alone with a DH who travels frequently. It does feel like being single. But it isn't the same as being single, once you really are all alone. I say this as someone who separated from my DH (not for this reason - other issies) and am in the process of reconciliation. There is something meaninful about the home that you build, the vision for it, and the time you put into that. Don't throw it away for the unknown. I'm not suggesting that fear should keep you. Rather, I am suggesting that you should concentrate more on the wonderful qualities that exist: balance and a healthy environment for your children, trust for you with a man that cares and loves you, security. Yes, the loneliness is real. But it will change - marriage is a lifetime. Will he have this job in 5 years? In the big picture, is it worth throwing away all that you have together as a family, and restructuring that, for a vision of the unknown? Either way your DH will still be around if you have children - and if you love him, when he is no longer working in the way that he is, you may regret that decision. Nothing makes up for the man that you love and spending time with him. But you can make sure that the time you spend together is very meaningful. The PP suggesting date nights, frequent alone trips is using this approach, which I recommend. Also, make sure that you find different ways to connect while being gone; facetime while watching a movie together, I used to sometimes sleep on factime when we firstmoved into a big house and I was afraid to sleep alone (before the dog and kids). It sounds silly, but it was comforting to hear him get up and go to the bathroom, or talk to him while we were getting dressed in the AM. Finally make sure that you are enjoying the time for you. This is time to enjoy hobbies: plant a garden with a flower that reminds him of you. Grow vegetables. Take up scrapbooking and make memories when you miss him. There are a ton of possibilities. Loneliness is easy to mend. Heartbreak, and the effects of a divorce - not so much. It is much easier than it sounds. Good luck [/quote]
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