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[quote=Anonymous]Things we did:

1. We found a licensed counselor in the city where my DD went to college. The counselor was located .4 mile from campus. I got the appointment day set up in the afternoon of a day that DD did not have classes. I did not wait to have DD set it up. The same with the psychiatrist. Which was a monthly appointment. I took her the first time to both providers. She grumbled a lot that the counselor "didn't know anything" but we required her to go, or else she would not go to college. She refused to see a counselor in the health center at the college, because she wanted her privacy, which I understand. That was a moot point anyway because those counselors could not guarantee a weekly appointment for her (I called to inquire).

2. I got the phone number of one of her suite mates who had become her friend. I got this in October, but if you can get this at drop-off, that's even better. Make sure this roommate puts your number in her phone. Don't bother giving your # to the RA, because they are not going to call you. They will call the Dean who will call you.

3. Have her sign up for the easiest course load possible for first semester. She may balk at this, actually. But insist on it until she gets her legs under her. Ratchet down expectations. That sport she did for 20 hours a week in high school? Maybe skip that and aim for a noncompetitive, non-performance based activity like yoga.

4. We visited her more often than we did her two siblings who are also in college and would have been irked by frequent visits.

5. We learned that we have no ability to know whether she takes the medication. Literally. Anyone who says "just make her take medication" has not walked in your shoes. She filled the prescriptions, but taking the medication reliably was a whole other thing.

6. We insisted that she take a gap year, and decided this in a panic about three weeks before college started.. She worked full time, went to counseling, and was very lonely. She did not want to do any volunteer work or exercising. She was not able to go overseas on a gap year program, due to the counseling and the mental illness. So it was isolating for her. We wish we had sent her to college on time, with the above supports.

7. We called the Dean of Students  after the first week of college had passed and explained that she was struggling with depression/anxiety. We did not know whether he would look in on her, but he did. Several times each semester. I'm guessing he also gave the RA a heads-up, but I don't know. We did not tell her about this phone call. We debated the ethics of this, and decided to make the call anyway. You do what you have to do.

8. We required her to sign the FERPA release, prior to the start of the semester and prior to arriving on campus. Good to have, if you absolutely need it. We required this of all of our kids, in case of an emergency.

9. We go to a counselor ourselves once a semester in our city who is experienced with young adults and mental health. She has really helped us to navigate the decisions we have made. She was the one who suggested most of the above items. Without her, I would have been reluctant to be so intrusive about my daughter's life, as that is not the way we are parenting our other young adults. She encouraged us to realize that this is a special need that requires more involvement, not less.

10. We still fly by the seat of our pants, learning as we go. This is NOT easy. The hardest part is #5. You know the medication could help her feel better, but she does not trust that. She doesn't want to be "different." And depression subdues her executive functioning abilities so she just plain forgets. Plus depression makes her not care.

11. Our  DD will take 6 years to get through college, because she only takes 12 credits/semester. Going to counseling and a psychiatrist and getting enough sleep takes time out of her week. She has minimal ability to cope with too much pressure. This is working.

12. I wish she was at a college closer to home. She is out of state. But it's a good fit for her, and no one from her high school is there (which she likes).

13. On the days before her psychiatrist appointments, we receive a reminder text from their office, as does our DD. This office was glad to text me because they have such a problem with no-shows in this adolescent population. During her freshmen year, I would then text my DD on the morning of the appointment to nudge her into remembering the appointment. I don't have to do this anymore.

That's all that I can think of for now. It's not in any order. 
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