Reply to I Love My Son But.......

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lay off OP, people.  With some people, it takes more than one parent to teach a kid to clean up.  I've got one who from the time she could toddle, was putting away her things and decorating her room.  The other, the older DD, never--never, it's like that part of her brain does not exist.  My DH is similar and there's genetics and bad role modeling to fight against.

[b]When the slob DD was a young teen, I thought how much of our fighting had to do with this, many times a day me being shrill about this and that, and one day I stopped.  So she'll be a slob.  So what, in the scheme of things.  Our relationship is much better and I'd rather have her want to come me when she's out of the house, then never want to see me because I was such an anxious b____ all the time. [/b](And btw I stopped with her dad years before and yes, I clean up a ridiculous amount but our marriage is so much better)

So I'm also interested in the constructive replies as I'll soon be in the same shoes as OP. [/quote]

PP, you made a good decision. I'm like your DD (and my dad is like your DH). I'm in my mid-40's and I hate being around my Mom. She can't look past my messiness.I dread talking to her because even on the phone she has to remind me to clean. Now that I have a baby, her anxiety is out.of.control. She wonders why we aren't closer. She thinks that if I would "just clean" like she wants me to, then she would stop nagging and the world would be a better place. She can't understand how my DH loves me and my messiness. Don't let a little mess get between you and your DD.

That being said, OP, I do not treat my parent's home with disrespect. I might not vacuum and dust enough at my home, but at there's I keep it to their standard. I think there is a middle ground that you can find with your DS that won't destroy your relationship. [/quote]

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