Reply to Husband won't let me comfort him. I don't know what to do.

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Reply to "Husband won't let me comfort him. I don't know what to do."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not trying to get him to grieve the way I think he should. If it were up to me he wouldn't be back at work yet because I think it's too much for him.
I was only doing and trying the things I know he enjoys and bring him comfort, and the things we discussed me doing.

[b]Last night I only went to the door and asked if he wanted to talk or if he wanted me to just sit with him.[/b]  That's it just the once and he came out , grabbed his keys, and sat in his car.

[b]I only texted him once and all I said was " I love you and I'm here for you."[/b]

[b]I do try and give him space, but it's like I can't talk to him or do the simplest thing without getting snapped at or brushed off.[/b][/quote]

No, trying to talk to him, text him, sit with him, or do the simplest things is not giving him space.  Giving him space means leaving him alone, not even going to him, but letting him come to you when he's ready.  While well meaning, you are essentially driving him crazy by not leaving him alone.  Think about someone that is bruised and in pain, your gentle caresses feel like punches from a hot branding iron.  Same here.  He's hurting and struggling to come to terms with his grief.  He needs to do this for himself, by himself or in a manner of his own choosing (therapy only really works when the person wants to go to therapy; it never works when sent involuntarily by someone else).  But although you mean well, you are not giving him the space he needs to grieve and get to the point where someone can help him.[/quote]

I only did the things he said would be helpful to him before. I understand now hat e doesn't want that.  I know I can't fix it. I just want to help.  I haven't suggested therapy to him because I know he won't go. I know he's against.[/quote]

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