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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP whatever negative emotion that scent instigates...anger, sadness, insecurity, suspicion...don't run from it, don't crumble underneath the weight of it, and don't try and pretend like its not there.  Instead take all that negative energy that scent incites within you and unleash all that pent up passion and anger and frustration on your wife in the bedroom in the backseat in a stairwell in a back alley behind restaurant, wherever.  Two birds with one stone - 1) you no longer suffer the emasculation of that scent reminding you of her infidelity or your inadequacy because you redefine it for both of you and 2) you no longer have to worry about your wife so much as thinking about straying again because the spontaneity and carnality of your new response to her wearing that perfume will have you two f__king like newlyweds again.[/quote]

Ick.  Just ick.  The scent triggers memory of domestic abuse (which infidelity is - a form of emotional abuse).  In the same way that scents or sounds can trigger post-traumatic stress, so is the scent trigger the memory of abuse/trauma.  And you advise OP to repress/channel the trauma into sex with the abuser?  Ick.

OP.  Infidelity is a form of betrayal trauma.  The affect of this kind of trauma has similarities with PTSD (hyper-awareness or feelings of disconnection, triggers, etc.). Maybe a therapist skilled in treating PTSD and abuse can help you manage these post-traumatic symptoms in a healthy way.

Until then, I agree with all other posters; she should stop wearing the perfume.

I made my husband throw away 3 paintings he had bought me as a present overseas.  I found out he had an affair with the translator who helped him purchase them for me.  I saw no reason to live with a daily reminder of his lies.[/quote]

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