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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Could you file a restraining order and then go?  If she shows up, have her arrested and continue your vacation.  I realize that all doesn't sound like fun, but neither does staying at home.  [/quote]

I'd consider doing this - and informing all the cousins what you've done so everyone is prepared and the shitty cousin can, again, share the news with your mother.  I'd also, like you said, drop the denying cousin.  How shitty this is for you and your family.  I'm so very sorry and would totally understand if you decided to forego the 'vacation'.  Hugs.[/quote]

OP here. A restraining order requires some kind of proof of imminent danger, which we could possibly prove but that would depend on the judge.

Unfortunately, though, this would not be a good solution for our family. It would be an extremely traumatic scene for my child-- not to mention all of my cousins' small children, who have never seen the police haul someone away screaming and threatening.

This is a limitation of our legal system. You can often keep yourself physically safe but you can't prevent unpleasant scenes like this.

Sometimes you have to suck it up. We are not rich by any means but neither are my cousins, who work very hard. One of my cousins is a hairdresser married to an enlisted Air Force E-2. They're TTC. I'd have to be a special flavor of jerk to put any of the burden on them. The cousin who is responsible for all of this also isn't well off. I'm not happy about the money but that's the least of it, all things considered.  [/quote]

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