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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am surprised and very sad to see this as a response. I know this is how it is, but this is not how it should be. I have a daughter and I can't imagine letting someone touch her and doing nothing about it. I feel like part of healing is holding the person who hurt you accountable. I know you all aren't privy to a lot of the backstory, but my cousin has a pattern of making poor decisions  (6 kids/6 different fathers, none of the fathers around etc). She pedestals men and I feel like not holding this clown accountable is sending a message to the daughter that she isn't worthy of being vindicated. I feel like my cousin set the tone for her daughter to think that she should let it go.

In any event, I will contact RAINN to get more guidance, because all these months later I just can't let it go.[/quote]

There you go again making it about you.

This is what you have to understand . [b]It's not about you. It's not about your cousin.[/b]

[b]It is entirely about the 16 year old and what she wants to do.[/b]
She is the one who was violated.

She is the one who will have to relive what happened to her and answer very personal and very private questions.

Therefore it is 100% up to her what she wants to do and when and how she heals.  FYI people heal in different ways and at different speeds.

I really think you need to make  your best effort to patch things up with your cousin, so you can talk to the girl and be supportive to her and what she wants to do.

[/quote]

This.  Your anger at your cousin for not doing what you thought she should do DID make it about you.  Instead, you should have listened, maybe asked some questions, and suggested some resources that the victim could consider--a school counselor, her pediatrician/doctor, RAINN, etc., that would allow some trained professionals to help her decide what to do.  It's not just about reporting the crime; it's also about how she can process what happened to her and start to heal.  Reporting the crime might be part of that, and maybe if she gets some help, that will be something she chooses to do.  But it's her choice, because she's the one who has to go through it.    [/quote]

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