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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with the above poster. You still have bonding time with the newborn and your older daughter will remember this time. It is important that you are paying attention to her feelings. I would try and have her help you with the baby so she feels part of the process. Bringing you a diaper, helping to feed the baby a bottle, ect. And so she knows you do have to share your time, explain to her that while you are playing with her now and the nanny is with the baby, the next activity will be with the nanny and you will be with the baby. Maybe plan out a schedule with her so she knows when she will be with the nanny, when she will be with you, and when it is all together time.   Good luck [/quote]

+1. DCs also have 4 years difference, so older child was aware of new child. So you cannot really close the door and expect older to feel good about it. She is anxious and that only increases her anxiety about the change.

Include the older one in all activities, help with diapers, singing to baby, talking to baby, bath time (gently pouring water on legs or stomach is something a 4 year old can manager), offer she joins you and baby for naps (after 1-2 times she'll probably opt out anyway). Tell her how lucky little baby is to have such a wonderful sister, and how lucky and happy YOU are hat she's here to help and how proud you are of her, and tell her this several times a day.go to park, the four of you, so nanny can walk around with baby in stroller while you spend time with older dd. Or Subscribe to child and me classes with older dd, something close to home and not too long, but that she may enjoy - once you are able to (3 weeks is quite early).

I don't agree with punishment and timeout unless she actively hurts baby. This is difficult change for her and she needs more attention from you, so don't see how punishing her for her feelings will go well on the long run. [/quote]

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