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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Young kids and extended parental travel"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly? I would pass on the assignment, up to and including resigning. I know it's not what you want to hear, but there's no way I'd leave my kids (2 and 5) for three months. My DH did a 3-month stint overseas when our first was 2, and his relationship with DC hasn't really ever recovered. It has made me extremely conservative about spending time apart as a family. I feel for military families who deal with deployments -- it is incredibly tough.[/quote] I appreciate your feedback. You're right that it isn't what I want to hear. Passing on the assignment simply is not an option. Looking back on it, what could your DH have done differently to keep the bond stronger? That's what I am looking for.[/quote] PP back. In-person visits seem crucial. DH was a 24-hour plane trip away, so that wasn't an option for him. Even a single day every few weeks would make a huge difference. DH physically being absent seemed to be the biggest deal to DC -- missing the minutia of life (breakfast, going to the playground, reading books, etc). She was very anxious and avoided DH for a few months on his return, I think because she was scared he would disappear again. Your kids are older so I think that will be less of an issue for you -- there's worlds between a 2 and 4 year old's understanding of this sort of thing. But if I were you, even if it's expensive or inconvenient, I would come home as much as possible and just spend the entire time with your kids. And maybe check in in advance with a counselor to see if there are better strategies for preparing kids for a parents' extended absence? I wish, in retrospect, we'd done that. There have got to be good resources in this area for that.[/quote] Thanks for following up with this good advice. I think you're right the we should try to visit with a counselor. It certainly can't hurt. [/quote]
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