Reply to Help walk me thru logistics of divorce when one person won't consent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks.  Can anyone walk me through what the weeks/months after filing look like, in this sort of situation?  How is it decided who will leave the house?  Does one go to court?  Obviously I will talk to a lawyer, but once that ball starts rolling, the match is lit, so the speak.

I'm confident he would never hit me--that's a line for him plus he's too smart, as he would realize that it would impact him legally.  He would do lots of other stuff to mess me with me legally and psychologically, though...and is more likely to do that if he feels I'm doing any of this behind his back.  He's incredibly smart and fairly well connected within the legal community.  I guess not that unusual a story for DcUm crowd.  I just want to have it all thought through before I take that first step so that I'm not floundering, because he won't be.[/quote]

Speaking with a lawyer does not light a match. Signing papers and filing in court does. The lawyer is who can look at your situation specifically and answer your questions. Don't ask on here, and clear your browser (abusers know how to search that stuff).

Also, leaving an abusive relationship is the single most dangerous time in a domestic violence victims life. Please do not assume he won't hit you. I'm glad he hasn't yet - but he could, and if he feels like it will help him regain control of the situation he will. He does not care about you - he cares about HIM. Which is why he's accusing you of wanting to "abandon your children". As for being well connected legally, that doesn't mean he will make good decisions, my lawyer ex dug himself so deep he'll never get out of that hole in a court of law. It also doesn't mean he won't hit you. Especially once he realizes you are taking back control of your life. Do not be alone with him after you file until things calm down.

Find a lawyer go is very experienced with DV - seek advice and recommendations from some women's shelters or other posts here on DCUM.  [/quote]

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