Reply to Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it

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Reply to "Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the healthiest thing you can do for your marriage is to talk to your wife directly about this. It'll be hard, but good for you not just as you approach her birthday, but in continuing to rebuild your trust in each other. Give her the chance to prove to you that she's committed to honesty (such as regarding the AP), and prove that you're committed to honesty as well (such as about your feelings about your marriage and the rebuilding process). Tell her you're feeling anxious about whether her AP will contact her around her birthday, and ask her to tell you if she does hear from him because you don't want to be left wondering about it. Otherwise you're kind of setting her up, you'd want to know if she heard from him, but if she does and she doesn't respond (because she wants to protect your marriage), she might think it's better not to tell you (because, after all, since she didn't respond or acknowledge him, she stayed faithful, so why needlessly upset you). You'd also be setting yourself up, because if that happened and you found out anyway, it would be fresh grounds to distrust her even if she acted entirely appropriately with respect to the AP.[/quote]

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