Reply to googling exes: what's okay, what's problematic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Not a big deal at all. I google exes here and there and have for years. Why, because some I want to see how their lives have ended up. A few that dumped me I was hoping they were kind of miserable, lol. One is still a loser and living alone with his cat as I predicted. I also Google my spouses exes and have gotten quite a laugh. Seriously people are dumb that post their real names on FB etc. It's scary how much you can find out, but most I know do the same. Public info. people.

When you put all this stuff on the internet the search engines will bring it all right to you. I was able to see my exes divorce which was a good laugh. He and his wife fought over the cat and the judge gave my ex visitation while she got custody!!!

OP don't say anything, not a big deal at all.[/quote]

OP here Do you google your exes every week? every few days?

I know its not a crime--but its not the googling itself. We all do it. Its the frequency. Somewhere between weekly and daily, for at least a year (as far back as the history goes), perhaps the entire length of our marriage for all I know. Perhaps since we had kids.  This isn't the occasional "I wonder what ever happened to..." its something else, that seems, well, unhealthy. To me anyway. Seems like a lot of energy and emotion that could/should be directed elsewhere. [/quote]

Weekly and daily suggests a problem. Are you sure they aren't talking???

I would explain to him that living in the past is going to destroy his future. I've seen people who have kids with exes do just that. My friend's husband tried to make them go to his exes house every time she wanted to have some celebration for the kids, then the grand kids.  She wanted the ex gone and he slowly destroyed his future.  All he had to do was let the ex do what the F she wanted. He and his wife could celebrate with the kids at their house on a different day.  Most people do this.   Anyways, I'd be curious as to what his excuse was.[/quote]

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