Reply to Help walk me thru logistics of divorce when one person won't consent

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as everyone has said, you really need to speak with a lawyer. However, broadly...

For starters, there is a difference between "separation" and "divorce" and almost everywhere requires a separation prior to filing for divorce. In DC, you must live apart and separate (including in the same house, as roommates, with no sexual relationship) for 6 months prior to filing. A lawyer can advise you more specifically. I was told that we needed to not "share board" - eat together, communally shop, etc. - but your lawyer might tell you otherwise. You will draft a separation agreement that states the day that you began living apart and separate and other information. My separation agreement detailed our intended custody arrangement and division of assets, but ultimately, it is for a judge to decide whether the provisions of such an agreement are how it's gonna be or not.

When you get to the filing stage (aka 6 months after the date in your separation agreement), one person files, even if the divorce is mutual and amicable. In this case, you would be the one filing. He would then be served with divorce papers. That can happen pretty much anywhere - home, work, on the street, at a neutral 3rd location. You cannot be the person who serves him - it has to be someone else. Some people hire professional process servers, others ask a friend or relative to do it. It may also be possible to serve him via certified mail, but your lawyer can clarify. You will then be given a court date, which for me was about 2 months after we filed.

Were I you, I would get statements from any joint accounts BEFORE you separate. Those assets are going to matter and many angry soon-to-be-ex-spouses are not above moving money around in order to favor themselves. Keep in mind also that any joint assets are joint right up until they are legally separated, so there is almost nothing preventing your husband from spending down your joint account between when you tell him you're divorcing him and when you actually do so. I would strongly recommend opening your own account and having any paychecks direct-deposited into that account and then moving money to joint accounts as necessary, but PLEASE, ask a lawyer.[/quote]

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