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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "This is why we cannot talk "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] You say "just clean your room" and they know what that's supposed to mean because she "lectures" and teaches them (repeatedly, as children need). You then berate her for this, and/or cut her off emotionally. She "name calls" people who aren't present, and you micromanage her speech and tone police her. You have pre-determined the "appropriate" amount of time for her "rants", which means you are either psychic and already know what she feels and is trying to express or are not even actually listening and just tapping your toe, waiting to check out. And I'm sure the pot lecture wasn't just a one-time thing. Probably more like the 4th or 5th time she had to explain to another grown adult how to do a simple housekeeping task (though I suspect there's some sense of "but that's her job" going on here, too). People are always so quick to call this behavior set a disorder, when it's more accurately a response. If she wasn't like this when you met her (and I doubt she was or you wouldn't have married her), this is responsive to something, most likely environmental stress. If you're just looking to rag on your spouse, go for it. DCUM is certainly the place. But if you care at all for this person, you'd be well-served to look at how your antagonistic, judgmental, emotionally unavailable behavior (as indicated by the way you speak of "spouse") is exacerbating the situation. [/quote] Actually, no. They know what "clean your room" means because it's a very clear directive. I don't berate her, ever. I don't know where you got that. I don't micromanage her speech or tone. Where do you get that. I work at home. In no workplace is it appropriate for "do you have a minute" to turn into a 30-minute whine fest during the workday. If you do this to your spouse, you're 100% in the wrong. But it's not ME who''s setting the predetermination. If you ask for a minute, literally take a minute. Don't take 30 or get pissy if I remind you I'm working. She does this. As for the pot lecture, save it. She doesn't do any housework at all, so she doesn't get to criticize how I do it. The end. You? [b]I should give you the back of my hand. Please don't respond anymore.[/b][/quote] This is the way you "remind" her, isn't it? But it's okay, because you said please, right? :roll: Your wife needs to leave you, because you're an idiot and a jerk. I hope you get what you deserve. [/quote]
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