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[quote=Anonymous]I think that some people have "see therapist" as a catch all for all behavior.  It frankly is not the magic pill.

The problem is not your child, its you.  You don't have a plan which my father also told me was a plan to fail.

You need to make sure that he understands what is expected of him.  That is telling him what he needs to do and when he needs to do it.  If he does not live up to realistic expectations there is consequences.  You need to be very consistent with the consequences and NEVER buckle.  Trick is to not set up expectations so high that he will always fail.

My rule for electronics has always been the 24 hour rule. Break the rules and loose them for 24 hours.  I also had a bad behavior jar with tasks written on pieces of paper.  If you misbehaved, you needed to pull the paper and have that thing done before you want to bed that night.  Most of the items did not take more than 10 minutes (vacuum living room, sweep kitchen, weed front yard, bring dog for 10 minute walk etc).

You need to have empathy towards his bad misbehavior but never fight with him about it.  You make the rules, he follows the rules.  He breaks the rules, he get punished.  Teenagers and pre-teens are pretty good at figuring out what does not work and stop doing that behavior.  Where they are let astray is in situations were the punishment varies or is rarely enforced.

He may be at a point where you need to stop doing anything for him for the next month.  He washes his own clothes, makes his own simple dinner( think sandwich) and does everything for himself.  If you do this tell him that his behavior is such that continued rewards of clean clothes and food made for him are no longer appropriate.[/quote]

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