Reply to Guidance Needed - ADHD kid, family life, struggling to get on same page with DH

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Reply to "Guidance Needed - ADHD kid, family life, struggling to get on same page with DH"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,

I have ADHD and I strongly suspect my husband does as well.  He's more organized at work than home and every time, I bring up the idea of a regular family meeting, he balks.  He likes to do things on the fly.  One of our kids has ADHD and now as a tween getting him to adhere to a schedule is increasingly more difficult.

People with ADHD often don't have a good sense of time.  If I don't intervene and try to let my DH prod our ADHD to get the bedtime routine started, it takes literally 1.5.  The ADHD kid procrastinates, makes excuses, won't get away from the screen, wants a snack, takes forever in the bathroom.  If I try to get the kid's butt in gear, my DH criticizes me and empowers the kid.  It's a source of tension and makes our life more disorganized on a daily basis.  We need to collaborate better.

My one suggestion for you, is to use fewer words when trying to communicate with your DC or DH.  Make the point, repeat the point.  They're not paying attention for the details.[/quote]

This sounds familiar.  Maybe DH does have ADHD, I don't know.  I do know he's lazy.  It makes me nuts.  He'll sleep in until 10 or 11am on the weekends.  It's like - um, hello?  We've worked all week.  We have grocery shopping to do, laundry to do, a house to pick up, yard needs to be mowed, etc etc etc.  Meanwhile I've been up for three GD hours already and have fed and dressed both kids, done about 5-6 chores, and you're pissed that I'm asking you to get up?  Sounds familiar on bedtime with the kiddo too.  "It's summer."  "What difference does it make when he goes to bed?"  Um, because he's 7?  And because he suffers when there's not a routine and clear expectations?  And because when he goes to bed at 10pm or later there is literally ZERO time for the adults to have to themselves?

I just. . .fuck.  I hear you guys, and I'll try to take your advice, but damn.  Days like today I just want to run the fuck away and never come back.  [/quote]

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