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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I relate completely. [b]It made me realize how much my being turned on was feeling that my body was hot and feeling that that's what my DH responded too.[/b] It's just my stomach that bothers me. It's really hard to feel sexy. :([/quote]

This is an insightful point. I think this is a key difference between typical male and female sexuality. As a man, at least, this something that I hadn't fully realized.

For men, sexuality is focused on the other person. It's very externally focused.

For women, it seems to be much more internally focused. Women need to feel attractive and desired to enjoy sex. A man can have zero self-esteem and feel completely unattractive but still enjoy sex because for men it's about the other person. [/quote]

I'm a woman and my husband's weight gain has really turned me off, though his is quite substantial.  We still have sex but I have a high drive and basically just ignore the weight intentionally - just try to tune it out.  But I'm not going to lie, if he lost the weight, I would be fantasizing about him and not other people.

For some reason, I think guys don't really register that their appearance could impact things for the woman.  It's very true that a woman's self esteem can really hurt her drive, but her partner's appearance and hygiene matter too.

OP, I'm the PP who suggested lingerie.  I think that would make you feel more confident to start and then you may be able to get more comfortable.  [/quote]

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