Reply to s/o "respected" for what you do all day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in a family where family time was golden, but having a source of one's income was a goal my parents had for all of us.

My parents taught self-sufficiency.  They always said 'never rely on anyone else for your source of income'.  My parents were proud to do things on their own.  My mother thought the lesson was particularly important for my sister and I since for my brother society expected it.  My parents, especially my father, always instilled that women can do anything that men can do.  We played competitive sports and had the same chores as my brother.  There were no 'girl chores' vs 'boy chores'---everyone had a round of mowing the lawn, folding the clothes, setting the table, etc.

My dad had a flexible schedule.  He loves to cook.  My mom took off time from nursing when we were young and then launched into it again---rising to hospital administrator by the time, I the youngest, was in middle school.

My parents both pitched in at home.  Both were at all our sporting events, coached, etc.

Idleness was not valued.  My husband grew up with a single working mom and also comes from the mantra that everyone earns something.  Not only would he have a hard time with me spending 6.5 hours while the kids are in school not contributing financially---I myself would.  I worked for a graduate degree in a STEM field.  I like what I do.  Fortunately, I WAH full-time---I would always work and contribute to retirement even if it had to be part-time.  I don't really understand any other way.

I don't not respect women that don't work.  I just was raised differently.[/quote]

I hear everything that you just said.  BUT, part of what I read was that work = income producing work.  Unpaid work is not work.

So, someone who is employed as a patient advocate at a hospital is working. Someone who accompanies their sick child or parent to all specialist appointments, chemo treatments, etc, and fights for 2nd opinions, reminds nurses that XYZ is not to be done, per the chart, asks if there are interactions between these two drugs, and on and on, is "not working".

Similarly, volunteer work is not, by your definition, work, even though I don't know how that is "not contributing".  Some SAHM spend time during the day doing significant, meaty volunteer work, but there is no W-2 to show for it when the year is over.

I don't think anyone is asking for you to respect their yoga class.  Just recognize that there are forms of contributing that generate no income, but the person is still creating value and that should be respected.[/quote]

In your examples, though, the person would be "respected" for coordinating care for someone who can't take care of their own complex medical needs, or doing "significant, meaty volunteer work." Not for staying home and raising their own kids. I think for a lot of people, it's not that you [i]dis[/i]respect someone who is a SAHM, but you don't necessarily admire them, either. [/quote]

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