Reply to Hit the year mark TTC and just starting to feel like I am entering the "dark period"

Forum Index » Infertility Support and Discussion

Reply to "Hit the year mark TTC and just starting to feel like I am entering the "dark period" - advice?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I logged back on here today to see these two posts - 14:28/15:56 - and I just want to say thank you for the information and the support. I talked to my husband and we've both agreed that we need to go full force on this sooner rather than later. I feel good that we have an appointment and I'm glad people on the board encouraged me to make one. I was feeling so down yesterday and taking some action did make me feel a bit better. Thank you to everyone who responded. [/quote]

OP glad to hear this.  My sister, who also struggled with IF though didn't need ART to have kids (her problem was RPL), basically prodded me to go see an RE initially.  I was kind of dragging my feet, thinking we'll wait a bit longer, and she more or less hounded me until I made the appointment.  Testing quickly revealed MFI as a diagnosis.  Not gonna lie, the next couple of years were rough.  First, two failed IUIs.  Then got up the courage to start IVF/ICSI (with our MFI dx, we should have started there but I wasn't ready).  First IVF gave me a BFP, but ended with a miscarriage and D&C we later learned was due to chromosomal issues.  Then another failed fresh IVF.  Some testing. Then a failed FET.  Then a chemical from FET.  Then more testing with a new RE.  Then surgery for Asherman's.  Then a fresh IVF cycle...and, 9 mos later, the birth of my perfect DD.  I'm now expecting DS, from a FET using embryos from the cycle that gave us DD.  This was our second FET trying for a second; first FET ended in miscarriage.

There were some awful, awful days in the period above.  I *never* cry in public, didn't even in office when RE told me embryo had stopped developing, but I bawled uncontrollably for like 20 minutes in front of everyone as I was leaving MedStar where I had my D&C.  And I remember frequently starting to cry/get misty-eyed on Metro on the way to work in the morning over the next few months.  There were so many times I wanted to give up.  I pretty much had given up.  I did the last fresh cycle more for DH than myself, since he wasn't ready to move on.

But, I can tell you today that I don't regret a moment of it.  And while I obviously don't know how I would have felt if things turned out differently, with hindsight I think that final fresh cycle was, for me, the definition of having tried everything.  If I had quit before then, I would have wondered...but I think afterward I would have been able to start the process of moving on.  I'm not saying this to push you into treatments, since it's obviously rough.  But please do whatever you think you need to do to feel at peace that you've tried everything you could have...and then stop whenever you need to.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics