Reply to Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know an affair would be one for me.

Do not place any blame on your marital issues from the past.

[b]Remember that YOU were the victim in all of this.[/b]

I do think that divorce is not easy on any child, but they will be fine in the end.
Yes, it will be heart-breaking & sad in the beginning because after all....Their family dynamic will change significantly.

However in time they will adapt + move on from it.
Kids are a lot more stronger and adaptable than us adults give them credit for.

Yes, motherhood is all about sacrificing for the sake of our kids.
However to stay w/a man who has betrayed you in the worst possible manner that a husband can do, will have extremely detrimental effects for years to come.

Your children may have it engrained in them that this is a model for a typical marital union which will have devastating consequences later on in life.

Plus do you really want to invest yourself into someone who could carry on this deception for a year...??!

That is the equivalent of asking for the moon from my perspective.[/quote]

This is all terrible advice, and nothing other than a one-sided perspective meant to make OP feel better.

No one here knows the truth of what or why her husband cheated.  Most rational people understand they shades of grey between the asshole husband who has an awesome wife and great marriage and cheats because he is a sociopath, and the husband who has put in an extraordinary effort for his marriage but has been essentially abandoned by his wife.

I don't know where their marriage falls, I know OP was candid enough to reveal they had problems, and I am not excusing his behavior.

As for kids are resilient in divorce - of course its not sending kids off to a war zone, but its also not "no big deal" and whether its closer to war zone than no big deal is going to be somewhat out of OPs control if they divorce  because she can't control who her ex dates, how he parents during half his time, etc.  Or how kids will react.

My meager advice - 1) accept your husband is human, with flaws like all of us, and he gave in to a temptation that has affected many humans who have tried to commit to lifetime monogamous marriages  2) if you decide to stay married, give it your all to move past this - no point in living like a martyr 3) if it can't be salvaged, do your best to forgive and co-parent amicably.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics