Reply to Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?

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Reply to "Is it okay to divorce a remorseful cheater when you have kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Husband and I have been married ten years with two small kids.  We have had our ups and downs.  Apparently he was much unhappier than I knew and he had a year-long affair.  I found out and we have been in counseling.  He seemed very remorseful at first, but now doesn't really seem that way.  I don't want to break up my family, and I don't want my kids to have to deal with divorced parents.  But I don't trust my husband, feel humiliated and hated, and just plain unloved.  I completely admit to my part of the problems in the marriage and was working on them during the affair.  He had an affair instead of working on the problems.

The question is - would it be horribly selfish to leave my husband?  Is that too much for the kids?  I keep reading threads on how divorce is terrible for the kids, but this is pretty much unbearable and my husband says he is committed to working things out. I think this affair might be a deal breaker for me.[/quote]

Divorce is not great for kids. Nor is staying in an unhappy marriage - which is far worse.

Don't just read these threads. Do some reading, talk to a few psychologists. And a divorce attorney.

It is NOT selfish of you to leave. It was selfish of him to have a [b]year-long affair.[/b] That is horrific and pretty much unforgivable. I'm not at all surprised that he seemed remorseful at first (when caught) and now is not.

I'm so sorry. Talk to people in real life - experts. And please take good care of yourself. This is a difficult time.

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