Reply to 5 year old girl very focused on her looks

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where I come from in the south this would be called raising your daughter right. Sure beauty comes from within and all, but everyone is also judged on appearances, women and girls even more so. The sooner she sees this and makes and effort the better, you are preparing her for the real world.
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This is a bunch of bull and my mom's from the South.

The concern here is less that she might want to wear dresses or even lip gloss, and more that this is actively interfering with her DOING things. Lest she "get dirty" or whatever. This is coming from somewhere more specific than the general pressure to "look pretty," which is just in the air that we breathe. OP, you need to figure this out.[/quote]

NP here.

While I disagree that OP needs to leap to figure this out, as if there's something deeply wrong here (I don't see it), I do agree totally that if the girl is starting to avoid doing things she otherwise might do - such as playing outside -- because of appearances, then OP needs to nip that in the bud. OP, I'd just tell her, "I'm glad you want to treat your clothes well. So take that off and put on this outfit to play outside for now." If she balks, make it into "I'm going outside myself and you need to come." Don't make it about "You need to like getting dirty!" or otherwise scolding her for wanting to keep clothes nice. Just be clear that there are times we dress nicely and times we don't.

OP, if your DD liked playing outside or being active previously, and you have seen a real change in her attitudes to the point that, for instance, she's giving up friends because they want to play outside and get dirty, or she used to be really into some activity that she now rejects because it's messy (maybe painting or crafting or a sport or whatever)-- then yes, I'd be more concerned that the focus on looks was interfering too much. But otherwise i'd see it as a phase and not give it too much attention, even negative attention.

And I, myself, likely would "lose" the lip gloss for a while, as in, "Oh, I left that in dad's car and it melted. Let's go do X." Redirect if it's out of hand. Otherwise don't give attention for it.

I am from the South, by the way, and though there was indeed an emphasis on things like dressing nicely for church or wearing appropriate clothes to certain events, there was never the kind of looks-are-your-[i]value[/i] junk that a PP claims. [/quote]

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