Reply to How do I forgive my mother?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, please do see counseling (therapy). And try to say to yourself and to your counselor that forgiving her is NOT your first or main goal. Your first and main goal is to improve your own thinking about yourself, so that you can make decisions without worrying about what her reaction might be. That, in itself, will take plenty of work. Forgiving her (in some sense) might be part of that work. But my point is: the title of your thread still suggests that you think that you owe something (forgiveness) to her and that this is what you are mainly seeking. Seek your own health instead.[/quote]

Yes, this. You may get to where you accept that she mistreated you and that you need to keep some distance now for your own health, rather than forgiving her, and that could be enough. A good counselor would be able to help you work through it.

Definitely limit what she sees on social media - if it's FB, it's easy to put someone in a list where they don't see most of what you post, and then specifically include them in some posts.  You don't need her negative voice in your head every time you think about sharing something with friends.

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