Reply to How to get a child to stick to a sport

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, are you able to back off and be objective about this long enough to think about your own upbringing? Were you a sports kid, one who was all about winning? Did you have parents, coaches or other adults who pushed you to win? Were you given the message (even implicitly) as a kid or teen that when it comes to a sport, winning is the point, not playing for fun or for exercise?

Every parent I know with the "you need to find a sport and stick with it and try for travel teams and want to win" perspective, and I know quite a few, is a parent who was an athlete as a kid or teen or in college. Or they're married to someone who was, and who puts a high value on a kid wanting to be competitive.

If you feel you and/or your significant other are competitive personalities yourself, maybe it's hard for you then to understand if a kid simply is not a competitive person. Competitive people find competition motivating and exciting; non-competitive people don't, and pressing a kid to want to win if that desire is not there will probably backfire, ending up with resentment.

Please be sure you're not sending your child the unintended message -- even if you never say the words themselves -- that you would value her more or like her better or spend more time with her if she only were sporty enough. I'm sure you don't mean to do it, but it's possible she's getting that message just from the emphasis on how she really needs to be doing a sport and how she should want to win at it.[/quote]

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