Reply to Financial Infidelity - just caught DH hiding frivolous purchase

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok OP is this a habit? Because if he is this nervous about telling you about a one-time splurge on something for himself than you have bigger problems than him lying. There is also whatever it is you're doing that makes him do something like this in secret.

Its one thing if a spouse is racking up thousands on the cc without telling the other, its another to make one private splurgy purchase. One is financial infidelity, the other is human nature. [/quote]

Sure, I know exactly why he didn't tell me. Because it's wrong. We are going without and our kids are going without in order to put as much money as we possibly can towards our debt. In no world would it be a sound idea to throw money away on something like that. We aren't eccentric billionaires, we're a struggling middle class family trying to get our feet back on the ground.

In doing this, he has prioritized his own bizarre wants over the whole family. [/quote]

Dude a $400 dollar random purchase isn't something 'eccentric billionaires' buy. That is cheaper than a smartphone/tablet/computer which plenty of middle class families own.

It sounds like you are insanely controlling. I'm not saying he should have bought it, but I think if you weren't so rigid maybe he would have come to you and explained it and saved up in a way you would have deemed appropriate for a few months. People can't live indefinitely in austerity. If you all are still paying off your debts then I think intelligently coming up with a way to buy something important to either of you is important to fit in. If you had saved money on the side that you had gotten in spot rewards or something and bought a nice purse would that be wrong?

The fact that it is a sword is a red herring. Every human has different things they would splurge on. [/quote]

+100

I wonder how many things OP has purchased recently that she considered a necessity and that DH would consider a splurge or unnecessary. [/quote]

I also want to know what the kids 'going without' really means. Does that mean they aren't getting the new American doll and are in public school instead of Georgetown Prep or does this mean you're eating ramen. Or, the likely reality, which is somewhere in the middle. To which I say that if your kids are fed, housed, clothed and educated decently, it IS ok for parents to occasionally prioritize themselves. [/quote]

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