Reply to Parents' money, and favoritism / greed (vent?)

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[quote=Anonymous]I get it OP. I also think that there is nothing wrong in leaving your children as much as possible. Times have changed and unless you are already wealthy it is very hard to make it. I do not want to saddle my kids with 200k of college debt and no way ever of making it. I also dont want to give my kids the idea that they dont need to work to ensure their sound financial future. And in my dotage  I hope that I can do some things I want without squandering family wealth. It should be used for future generations.

Unfortunately, unless your parents are open to following the advice of a financial planner, there's not much you can do. Maybe you can get them to see one, couching it in terms of maximizing their investments, etc. Have they been open in discussing their will with you? You deserve to know some of the plans, in case there are complications down the line. But a lot of this depends on their relationship to you and how open they are to discussing this. The sister equation adds another layer of complication.

I have two parents who are not married to each other anymore and it has been a different situation with each. My mom is open about her plans and about splitting all her estate equally between myself and my brother, with a small gift to each of her grandkids. She has also shown me what is in place in terms of long term care options and how she would like us to use, or not use, her money for care options. She has figured out that she wants to be cremated and has already rented the spot.

My father is very secretive, but finally let on that nearly all his assets have been commingled with his wife's asset into their 4 properties. He has left some cash to each of us, but I expect the bulk of his assets will pass to her, and none to us, although I do not know the details. She has no children, but I suspect she will find other ways of using that money so although I dont know for sure, I can expect to receive very little. SHe is younger, so it is unlikely she will pass before him. It does upset me--I feel he should do what he wants with it in life, but in death, he should leave some for his kids/grandkids--but its not my choice. It has only shaped the way I will deal with things in the future with my own children. [/quote]

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