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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents are divorced and are simply not that interested in my kids - now almost in high school.  We do live on opposite coasts and I make it a point to fly out at least once a year - although I missed last year.  My mom's husband's daughter was getting married the same time we visit so I wanted to give them space. I have never met the daughter and we were not invited to the wedding.   My parents never come out to visit me.  They do travel to Europe, caribbean cruises and around the country though.  My sister has kids and she experiences the same thing. Both my sister and I are financially independent and have not received any money from our parents since college.

It has taken me many years to process this - it is actually very hurtful and painful.  But you don't get to pick your parents and they were sort of not that interested in being parents either now that I look back on my childhood.  But they seem happy with their lives so that makes me feel better.

Anyway, I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day - planning the yearly trip out to visit them (at great expense to me but I do it.)  When my mom starts talking about how amazing it is to be a grandparent and what special relationships she has with her grandchildren.   She has not seen or spoken to my kids in two years.  Could it be that my mom actually thinks she is an involved grandparent? [/quote]

She's in denial about what  horrible parents and grand parents they are.  Mine were worse, mother had no interest in her grand kids. Our divorced dad re-married someone 20 years younger.  They traveled just like yours and probably came to see me and my kids 3 times in 15 years.  They did send money around birthdays and Christmas for the kids, but that was pretty much it.  I probably visited them about 5 times when my dad was alive, only so kids would feel like they had some family.  When he died he left our family vacation condo to her as well as their expensive home.  The condo was suppose to go to us, oh well I knew as soon as he put her name on it.

On the upside all us kids are great parents to our children and very involved. I see families going on cruises together, vacations, and grand-parents helping pay for college and seeing each other often.  OP I would suggest stopping those visits or scaling them down. Talk to your mother carefully at least to hint how she could be a better parent.  I would suggest a family cruise, see what she does with that; lol.  They're retired, why doesn't she come 2 or 3 times a years...especially since they can afford it.

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