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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sign the family card, or send a small token gift ($50 or so).  Definitely don't think you need to spend $100 for relatives you don't talk to or see.[/quote]

Silly.

She is talking about first cousins. Family. Of course you spend more on first cousins.  Not as much as siblings or your best friend, but as much as you would spend on friends and certainly more than you would spend on a work collegue or a casual friend.

Why does dcum have such awful relationships witu family?!?[/quote]

OP doesn't have a relationship with the cousin at all - has never met the fiance.  Why does a happenstance of birth oblige one to send a gift?[/quote]

The cousin came to OPs wedding.  The husband at one time had enough of a relationship to his cousin to invite him to his wedding.

One, they are close family (1st cousins!) whether OP likes them or not. Two, as another poster said it is the height of callousness and bad manners to have younger, close family members come to all of one cousin's important events (weddings, graduations, First Communions, Bar Miztvahs, etc) then decide a while down the road that this same cousin's biggest milestones are not worth more than a token recognition, if that.

Do the classy, gracious thing OP. Are your kids close to your family? How would you want them to be treated by older cousins down the road, especially if your family always shows for their first birthdays, school plays, dance recitals, graduations, weddings, christenings, etc.  If your kids do that for their older cousins, wouldn't it be insulting for the cousins or their spouses to later decide that any or all of your kids' major life events are just not worth bothering with?[/quote]

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