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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Personally I don't think it matters.

He sounds like he mistreated her for years & her love has slowly dissipated over time.

That is on him.

She can leave whenever she wants to. [b]The timing of whether or not he gets clean or not is not her problem to deal with.[/b]

[/quote]

This. And there will be some like PP who make it out to be her fault, like she should've just stuck it out indefinitely and tolerated his mistreatment, but when you're done, you're done.

It's okay to be done. Be honest about it, handle it directly, walk away with your integrity intact.[/quote]

I agree.  My DH of 20 years is a recovered alcoholic and suffers from depression.  There are typically underlying issues cause one to be suseptible to substance abuse. Even though an addiction may be broken, the underlying causes remain and must be managed. It's quite common for substance abusers to relapse. It's a cycle that can kill a relationship a little more every time you go through it until there's nothing left.

In my case, we've gotten to the brink of divorce on more than one occasion.  Right now, we're in a good place but I wouldn't say we have a strong marriage.  I love my DH.  He's been sober a good 15 years and when his depression is under control, there's no one I'd rather spend my time with.  When it's not in control, I have to, again, determine what is in the best interest of me and our kids.  And, I heartily disagree that it's best for the kids to stay together.  Growing up with and living with a person who is mentally ill can be horrifically damaging - I have experience with that as well.[/quote]

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